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Stuff I wish someone would’ve told me when I was twelve,

and the $*** they lied about!!!

Your face won’t stick like that. Life isn’t as hard as they say it is, it’s harder! Credit cards are a SCAM. All men are liars and their lazy too. Your parents really are crazy. So get a job, stay with them as long as you can, and save your money. Cause after you leave and come back, the craziness is unbearable! Bologna doesn’t blow up if you forget to cut it before you fry it. YOU POOP WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY! The world is a mean place and no one really cares whether or not you’ve ate today, except your mom. And that’s only cuz she’s crazy:) Cigarettes are not cool. You look like a dumba$$ little kid. You look just as cool smoking as you do wearing an oxygen tube on your face. Only boring idiots strive to be like everyone else. The fat guys in middle school will be the football players in high school, but there still the fat guys!!! Whining will get you attention but it’s disgustingly unattractive. Hard work is rarely ever noticed. Integrity is what you do when no one else is looking. It’s important! The truth doesn’t always come out. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!!! God gave you that instinct for a reason. Sometimes it’s your only defense. You don’t have to brush your teeth three times a day, once or twice is fine. Sometimes there really are monsters in your closet. Your body is the only thing you will ever truly own in this world. Don’t give it to just anyone. Money might as well  grow on trees, it is everywhere. Be smart, strong, and determined don’t stop till you get what you want. The editor of vogue quit school in the 7th grade. She makes more in a week than most us will make in year. You will NEVER in your adult life need to know the difference between a noun and a verb unless you’re helping your kids with their homework. Learn to cook! It comes in handy when your broke and you’ll usually be broke. Jesus loves you and he’ll forgive no matter How bad you screw it up!!! You will screw it up…

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